Tuesday, March 25, 2003

My new Bill Bradley

For any non-CNN viewers out there, this is Gen. Wesley Clark, military analyst for CNN.
Salon is plugging this guy as a potential democratic candidate for pres. He's not making any announcements yet--surely if he decided to run, he would wait until the end of the war--but there must be some hints flying around that he's considering it.

I think that this is wonderful news. I didn't know who the hell he was until the war started, I don't know his stands on issues, but here are the reasons I think he'd make a fantabulous Democratic candidate:

1. He is hot. In that sexy, older man, Sean Connery, Harrison Ford kinda way. We have not had a hot president since JFK, and it is high time we have somebody pleasant to look at. The strong bone structure, those dreamy eyes, the look of vigor and strength. After a run of kind of namby-pamby pudgy mama's boys, what this nation needs is a president who looks like he is dynamite in the sack.

2. He is a perfect sop for the conservative constituency. Soft on national security? I don't think so! He was Supreme Commander of the NATO allied forces! What was your guy? A draft dodger who slept through his plum post at the national guard? ooohhhh. scary.

3. He has already won the trust of all cable television viewers, left or right. Our Moms watched him nearly tear up after viewing interviews with POW families. They are already completely in love with him. Our Dads listened to him speak with commanding authority about military manuevers and weapons specs. They want to have a beer with him. He has the air of somebody who is all action, not an ineffectual politico who has spent his life on the Hill. People dig that shit.

4. He's got some impressive credentials. Aside from that little NATO stint, he graduated first in his class from West Point and studied as a Rhodes Scholar. He's not all meat and sinews, this guy has a brain. And he's obviously more articulate than our current Commander in Chief. Can you imagine GWB trying to hold his own for hours and hours and hours a day, speaking as an expert on ANYTHING?

5. Good with the one-liners. His campaign aides will love him for coming up with his own sound-bites. I like this one, via Salon, on the dangers of moving out of Iraq too quickly:
"So the idea that you can sort of come in there quickly and say, "OK, you got your liberty, here it is, don't starve, be good," and leave is stretching."

6. He's been tight-lipped on his views thus far, choosing instead to focus on his position with CNN until the war runs its course. But Salon leaked that he is pro-choice [Yeah!], wrote an amicus curiae (friend of the court) brief in support of Michigan's Affirmative Action policy [at least he is aware that minorities have problems!], and is opposed to open gays in the military [we'll work on him, it's early!]

With scant information to go on, I still think he's far more likely to endear himself to the public than John Kerry or Joe Lieberman. And we need someone who can counter the war-scalps that GWB is currently collecting with a few credentials of his own. Go Wes!


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