Tuesday, April 22, 2003

This Board is Fast and Danger

Continuing my goal to keep you all abreast of the latest happenings in hip-hop culture, I bring you, from Russia with love: Ill Mitch. He is a sk8ing, boxing rapper who wears a blue bubble-vest, white sweat band, and a bright orange helmet. (Safety is needed when your board is fast and danger.) Check out his fearsome photo gallery where you can view: Rap Pose 1, Rap Pose 2, and Video Pose 1. His hot CD available to you exclusively from his on-line store (it seems Ill Mitch has yet to be signed!) is called "Punch While Rap" and features such chart-topping hits as: I Will Win; Hey Ladies Fans; and of course, Fast and Danger (available in streaming audio). I suspect that it might all be a stunt, because the t-shirts he's selling are too self-aware. However, they are still priceless:

I leave you with the opening lyrics of "Fast and Danger":

Im ILL Mitch, now listen me recording
when I'm on street you know Im speed boarding
anyone who board shall call me lord master
oh ho you board? ILL Mitch board faster
wear oakley shades yes I do
say no to rollerblades and so should you
ride my board in the street ride my board and I'm ill
ride my board so quick ride my board down a hill
I ride in a pool I ride a half tube
I board fast like gleaming the cube
if you got a problem with Tony Hawk
get off your wheels and take a phony walk
going so fast you can barely see me board
I go faster than a ranger ford
in Russia call me danger lord
come take a seat on my anger sword

[yes. anger sword. wow....]


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