Original Plans for Weekend:
Friday Night: Hit local bar for mojito special, party like rockstar
Saturday Day: Dry cleaning, walk in park, bookstore browsing
Saturday Night: Orioles/Rangers game, party like rockstar

Revised Plans for Weekend, post-violent-encounter with living room armchair:
Friday Night: Sit on couch, watch swollen middle toe turn black and wiggle it whilst listening for rattle of disconnected bone parts
Saturday Day: Ditto, plus reading
Saturday Night: Ditto Ditto, plus mixing whiskey and medication like rockstar


May you all have more pleasant weekends than I. For now, I leave with you inspirational words from our Fearless Leader, first uttered at a campaign speech in Greensboro, NC:

"Our Priorities is Our Faith."
Yes, they is. Yes they is.