Oh! Someone understands me! Searching for my new Barton Springs, I read this article on area lakes that are good for swimming. The article began its lake advocacy by explaining some of the drawbacks of the ocean:

Here's the problem with the ocean: It wants to kill you.

The sea is a bouillabaisse of death. It is swimming -- literally -- with toothed, barbed and tentacled meanies. There is a seashell so toxic that merely touching it can freeze an adult's heart (at least, according to an episode of "Hawaii Five-O" there is). There are red tides, rip tides, killer whales and hurricanes. Five days in an open boat and you're beef jerky in sunglasses. What's the deadliest occupation in the United States? Crab fishing.

As beach season begins, it's worth remembering this: One little shudder of the sea, like a horse shivering its hide, and a rogue wave can snap your back on the coral and sweep your rag-doll remains under a rock where they become a buffet for bottom dwellers.

I'm not scared of the ocean killing me, but I definitely agree with the sentiment regarding the GROSS DISGUSTING NASTY NASTY ocean denizens.