Pop Quiz

You wake up in the morning in Washington DC to the sounds of NPR informing you that you are under a CODE RED!
Quick. Are you:
A) Under terrorist attack NOW! Find the MOTHERFUCKING duct tape!
B) Encouraged to drink a lot of water and avoid physical exertion.

The answer is B, but that doesn't mean your first conscious thoughts more closely resemble A. On this first hot day of summer, you might be excused for not knowing that the Ozone weather alert uses the same color coding scheme as the Department of Homeland Security.
Now.
Shouldn't somebody look into this?