Color me bored

I am utterly unimpressed with this hurricane business. I was all set to be awed by the wonder and fury of nature. Puh-lease. I've taken fiercer showers. Yes, yes, there are quite a few leaves on the ground, but that isn't exactly the kind of aftermath that makes you realize what's truly important in your precious, precious life. I'm not listening to any more Floridians whine about hurricanes. You heard it here first, it's all a big, fat LIE.

[The power did flicker briefly, striking terror into our hearts that we mightn't see how things turn out for plucky Bridget Jones...]