The toilet of the future is here!

Finally! I don't know why, but for some reason, I always seem to be on the cutting edge of toilet news. Back in high school, a Dallas coffee shop put in an electronic bidet, and I was there in a flash. The bidet actually became a draw for the little coffee shop, and people came from all around to clean their tooshes with their automated choice of warm or cold water, with a pleasing blast of warm, drying air afterwards.

To continue my trend, I'm going to have to make it down to DC's Huntington Metro station to try this modern marvel.

The Galaxy is not your county fair Jiffy John. The six-ton stainless steel box stands inside the fare gates and is available free to anyone who has paid a fare. It measures about 12 feet long and 6 feet wide and features a heated tile floor, a mirror, coat hooks, bright lighting and recordings of soft piano music.

At the touch of a button, the toilet seat comes out of a compartment built into the wall. Toilet paper is dispensed by the press of another button. After the toilet is used, it automatically flushes and the seat is washed in cleanser and returned to its hidden compartment.

The "sink" is built into the wall. When hands are placed under one sensor, a dollop of liquid soap is released. Under another, warm water sprays, and under a third sensor, hand dryers automatically turn on. After 30 flushes, the Galaxy locks itself and goes through a five-minute chemical rinse and dry cycle, like a dishwasher.

The article goes on to note the reaction of a couple "Texas tourists" who are actually the parents of my brother's highschool buddy. I assume, anyway. How many people from Texas are named Pevehouse? Mary Lou was decidedly unimpressed, but as a fan of high-tech heine hygiene, I think I'm going to have to give it a whirl.