To the hoodlum in Austin who has been using my checkcard to buy gas for the last 5 months at the Corner Quick Stop:

I may be slow, but I'm on to you now, chief! No more free gas from me! You may think you ripped me off, but the joke's on YOU. Because I didn't miss the money at the time, but now I'm totally broke and my bank is about to hand me a wad of cash. Whereas YOU are going to have to find some other sucker who had no clue where their money is going. HA!