Matt, don't take this the wrong way. I don't mind that you're a "pretentious asshole" as long as you keep those pub trivia answers a-coming. It's part of your charm, just like "snotty bitch" is part of mine. But you have absolutely no business qualifying as a celebrity sighting unless you have a sex scandal, coke problem, or flamboyant fashion flair that I don't know about.

Oh, DC. How you suck sometimes. Isn't there another Hilton foundling jetting about somewhere that we can import to DC for some real scandal?