Foiled!

The joy I initially felt upon hearing that I would have an intern for the summer has been dispelled by the rumor that my "intern" has a Ph.D. Apparently, when your intern seriously outranks you academically and has greater student loans by an order of magnitude, you cannot make them run around town to fetch visas for you. You must provide her with "substantive" work, which is something I usually like to hoard for myself.

Look, if you already have your Ph.D., you don't get to be an intern anymore. You get to be unemployed. Get your own substantive work!