Captured!

The streets of the world are safer today, and a dangerous man who has long eluded the long arm of the law is now in the hands of justice.

No, no, not Bin Laden. That other criminally unstable fugitive who's slipped across borders to escape the rabid manhunt on his tail. You know. Bobby Fischer. He's taunted us for the last time with his looney rants and fascist drivel! He's in the hands of the Japanese, so I foresee some wicked water torture in his future if he isn't handed over the U.S.

Checkmate, motherfucker!