Monday, July 26, 2004

Meanest Thing Ever

Today at lunch, I was lucky enough to overhear the #1 Most Mean Thing I've Ever Heard Someone Say to a Stranger. You long-time readers may recall the previous record-holder, the taxi driver who yelled "WHO GAVE THESE BLACK PEOPLE FREE?" after telling a gentleman of color "YOU WILL EAT MY DICK YOU BLACK DICK."

So, without further ado (well, a little ado in order to set the stage), I present to you the new winner of #1 Meanest Thing I've Ever Heard Someone Say to a Stranger:

The setting is a street corner in downtown DC, where I am standing at a corner waiting for the light to change. I hear a commotion to my right, and I see a youngish man in a wheel chair darting across the street, hurling a string of epithets at a car that nearly ran into him. He is quite agitated.

Now, if you're a driver who has just narrowly avoid crashing into a man in a wheelchair, what do you do? Why, if you're the winner of the #1 Meanest Thing Ever, you roll down your window, lean your body halfway out, and screech like a shrew, "THAT'S WHY YOU'RE CRIPPLED IN THE FIRST PLACE, BITCH!"


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