Whatever else the democratic convention may have accomplished—did we sway those swinging voters? will the polls bump or jump?—it's immediately clear that the convention titanically succeeded in raising so much money, that it cannot be adequately captured by the term shitload:
[via burntorangereport] On Wednesday, the campaign shattered its previous online fundraising record, raising over $3.3 million dollars in one day, only to crush it on Thursday with a total of $5.6 million raised -- bringing its two-day total to $8.9 million. At times during Kerry's speech, johnkerry.com received over 5,000 hits per second.
I don't know if "assload" is more or less than a "shitload" of money, and all my other ideas are too crude even for a sailor-mouthed degenerate such as myself, I will content myself for now with acknowledging that John F. Kerry has raised a Jesus H. Christload of cash during the convention.
So, Catherine, I propose that you hold a National Kicking Cancer's Ass Convention. It seems to work brilliantly for these other guys. The way I see it, even if you do really really poorly in comparison with the democrats and only raise $1,000,000, that's 500 marathons that you can run, minus just a little for a very reasonable commission in exchange for this awesome idea. Hope/help is on the way.