Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Rookie of the Year

Credit where credit's due. Erik joined our gruff and seasoned pub quiz team a blushing young virgin, yet came through with the skills of...let's not complete the metaphor, I think.

No, we didn't win or even compete effectively, really, but we did win "Best Team Name" for the second time ever, but the first time with a non-ripped-off name. Drawing on the convention coverage we all marinated in last week, Erik came up with the stellar team name, "Reporting for Booty." The Pub Quizmistress snorted as she read it for the first time.

However, last night also marked a disturbing new trend in pub quiz demography. The Republicans have found us. Also grabby old men with bad hips. Look, it's a fucking jungle out there and it's every man for himself. So I'm truly sorry that your pops has a cane and two bad hips, but I came an hour and a half early to be sure that my friends have chairs and I'm not going to give one up to your old man just because you chose to saunter in late. I hate to be that way, but if one of our team members ends up standing, it really interrupts our chi.

And the Republicans. Republicans at Pub Quiz! It's like having The Man at Woodstock or drag queens at a Promise Keepers rally. It really harshes our buzz. Pub Quiz is for Bush mockery, and more Bush mockery, with the occassional other cabinet members thrown in for good measure. It's a special place, a healing place. But the usual mirthful roll call of team names was hushed when we got to "Two Purple Hearts, No Balls" and "Real Men Like Bush," the latter of which manages to efficiently sneak in a girly-man style homophobia dig.

Are these funny names? Are we so blinded by our partisan rancor that we can't take a laugh at our own expense? Is it true that we find jokes about Iraqi detainees fair game, but not jokes about our own nominee? DAMN STRAIGHT. We're not humorless liberal hacks for nothing, people, and anyway, it follows along the same rule as mothers. I can mock my mama til the sun goes down, but you best not open your yap. Go find your own pub quiz. Hooter's trivia night is across the street on Wednesday's, and I'm sure the liking bush joke would go over like gangbusters for that crowd.


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