Friday, September 24, 2004

Interweb, here I come! Faster!

So I bit the bullet and signed up for DSL for my home computer. Basically, my boyfriend has chosen the internet over me so I have to up my market value if I ever want to see him at my place again. Perhaps now HE'LL CONSIDER A CELL PHONE as a wee sign of GRATITUDE.

Dial-up has been a fast sluggish friend ever since I left the dorm and its blessed ethernet in '98, but there comes a time when you must leave your childish attachments behind and move on. When you've torn the frameless posters from your wall, when you've replaced your plastic shower rings with silver rolling ball rings, when you have actual stemware rather than a mishmash of plastic fan cups, it's probably also time to ditch the dial-up. The very mention of my trusty dial-up connection brings hisses of scorn, disdain, and sometimes I daresay I see the glint of pitchforks at the ready. In my defense, to paraphrase the proud owner of a Volkswagen Fox: it was not one of the internet's finest moments, but it was one of its cheapest. And so I bid farewell to dial-up and the song of my early 20s; I leave you with a tribute to that haunting lullabye that soothed the nub ends of my days:

doo do doo do doo do doo............. bzzzzzzzzzBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZbzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... CRACKLECRACKLEHISSSHISS.... buhDUMbuhDUM buh... DUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

(Of course, the DSL has a minimum system requirement of 64 RAM, which I'm not sure I meet. Seriously, the computer is pre-millenial and verrrrrrrry crankity. So if this doesn't go well, I may be back to the dial-up after all. Wish us luck.)


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