Thursday, April 07, 2005

Whither

I'm sorry. My brain has exploded and is bleeding out my ears. I can't decide where to go to school next year and I'm making myself dizzy with concern, my room looks like a grenade went off because I'm too preoccupied to clean, and speaking of explosives, I spent the day learning how to probe my way out of a land mine field, should I find myself stranded in such. I am having trouble parsing out useful knowledge from non-useful knowledge and my critical faculties are in a tailspin. School? I have good choices, which is better than not having good choices, although I don't have all the good choices I hoped to have.

You know, we very likely traverse a series of life-altering crossroads several times a week in our everyday life. We just don't have to know it. We don't have to know that if we'd taken our usual shortcut we'd have been hit by a truck or if we had only ordered the grilled cheese sandwich we'd have met the girl of our dreams. But when the big crossroads come up: where to move, what school to attend, what to name your PowerBook, it's paralyzing, isn't it? Probably it all comes out a wash in the end, but the volition involved is horrible.

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