Friday, September 16, 2005

Things I learned from watching my upstairs neighbor

If you have a dumb waiter, you do not have to leave your house to buy mineral water or potatoes. All you do is tie a plastic sack to a rope. When some guy enters the courtyard behind your apartment and starts yelling some strange words, you lower the plastic bag four stories down to the ground. He will fill it with potatoes, or whatever you need, and then you can haul it back up.

If you have a dumb waiter, you also do not have to leave your apartment to sharpen your knives. All you do is wait for this guy to show up, then send your knives down to him. Presumably in the same fashion; hurling them downwards is considered impolite, though occassionally tempting when children are screaming and playing as you try to work. Oh ho! Only kidding. Love the little ones.


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