Things Were Different Back in My Day

A few years ago, Grandma had a stroke that left her half paralyzed. Her mind is quite intact, though she has days that are more lucid than others. I was visiting her this morning and chatting about the upcoming nuptials of my dear friend, and how I hadn't yet prepared a toast, which was one of my few Maid of Honor duties. She was quiet for a moment, staring softly and thoughtfully ahead.

Then without turning her head towards me or taking her eyes away from whatever indeterminate point in space had brought back her memories, she slowly said, "One time, as a Maid of Honor, I had to give a girl an enema."


[Apparently there had been an auto accident the day before the wedding and my grandmother was assisting the doctor by holding the bride's enema bag. Nevertheless, I feel certain that fate is instructing that I somehow work this splendid anecdote into my toast. Surely there's a prize to be won for making enema references at a wedding celebration? Side note: how awesome is my Grandma?]