Thursday, February 23, 2006

Bait and Switch

Did I mention I have a mouse in the house? I do, and he's named Erekle and he's absolutely darling/terrifying. He's the dearest, tiniest little guy, and I even started having dreams about a mouse friend who would crawl into the piano whenever he wanted to talk to me because it amplified his li'l voice.

I had a friend over the other evening, and when he started making a rustle in the plastic bags and I heard myself shouting "Erekle, behave yourself, we have company!" I knew I'd really stepped over some kind of line. Perhaps I simply need a roommate, but I seem to be running the risk of skipping directly over crazy-cat-lady and becoming a crazy mouse-lady. Which wasn't exactly sandwiched inbetween "ballerina" and "mommy" in my childhood list of things I wanted to be one day.

I can't bear to kill him, but I know he can't stick around. I suppose there's always the possibility that one can find humane traps here, but the absurd image of me trying to explain to some gruff and stubbly old merchant at the bazroba that "No, no! I don't want to kill it!" is enough to keep me from even trying. I'm not even an animal person, actually. I don't get all choked up about meat or fur, and I think hunters are perfectly fine people. It's just this stupid little rodent!

Oh, what to do. I've ordered Erekle's destruction, and I feel so Hitlery about it all. I called my landlady, reported the mouse, and asked her if she could please handle it when I'm in Istanbul next week. Making somebody else do my dirty work. Trying to sanitize mouse murder. Low and foul deeds. I wonder if it's too late for an injunction.

Did you catch that little bit about Istanbul? Right, so this tale was my rather macabre way of saying that I'm going to Istanbul on Saturday, to rendezvous for a week with my man, and it's going to be great. I briefly considered taking the bus direct from Tbilisi (35 hours, $40-something. no joke). Then I thought to take the night train to Batumi, marshrutka to the border with Turkey, taxi to Hopa, bus to Trabzon, then cheap flight from Trabzon to Istanbul. Also cheap, sounds like a pretty fun time, but the screw-up probability ratchets up with each leg of the journey so I just sucked it up and bought a plane ticket. I'll be back in early March. No parties while I'm gone, kids.


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