Hungry Like the Wolf

As I recline, pondering my swollen ankle, I realize that I have stumbled (ha ha) upon a surefire two-step weight-loss plan. Call it the Bikini Season Panic Ankle-Twisting Two-Step

Step 1: Fall

Step 2: Recline far away from where the food's at

Oh, and ladies! A bonus tip: if you don't elevate the injured portion or apply ice, you'll get skinnier faster!