Okay, okay, I get it
Hey, I just noticed that the Dallas Mavericks are in the NBA finals. Normally I would absolutely be cheering for them, seeing as how I spent the plurality of my life there (see how neatly I avoid calling myself from Dallas? neat, huh?), but I feel that this Susan-is-gone party that America seems to have been throwing all year has gone on long enough.
Let's recap. I leave the country and what happens?
1) University of Texas wins the NCAA Football Championship
2) The Republicans slide nigh-on comically into some kind of perpetual-motion scandal generator (I mean, hookers? Come on karma, you're overplaying this just a touch.)
3) Dallas Mavericks play in the NBA Finals
If it all goes too well for the Mavs, I fear that my welcome wagon will involve pitchforks and torches and a return flight to anywhere-but-here, courtesy of the DNC, remote-control wielding Texans, and/or the bulk of my friends and family.
Let's recap. I leave the country and what happens?
1) University of Texas wins the NCAA Football Championship
2) The Republicans slide nigh-on comically into some kind of perpetual-motion scandal generator (I mean, hookers? Come on karma, you're overplaying this just a touch.)
3) Dallas Mavericks play in the NBA Finals
If it all goes too well for the Mavs, I fear that my welcome wagon will involve pitchforks and torches and a return flight to anywhere-but-here, courtesy of the DNC, remote-control wielding Texans, and/or the bulk of my friends and family.
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