Thumbs not Bombs

In the spirit of the 1971 visit by the U.S. Table Tennis team to China, we here in Tbilisi are commited, within our humble means, to trailblazing peaceful and creative avenues of international diplomacy. Or, we're wargaming the coming apocalypse, depending on your take.

It was a quiet Monday night, an unseasonable chill in the air, a mood too lighthearted to portend the world-historical event that would unfold within mere minutes at the charming little pseudo-Moroccan sidewalk cafe in the heart of Tbilisi. Two great enemies faced off across a table, but for one brief and shining moment, all talk of nuclear weapons and evil axes and satans great and small was abandoned and our patriotic fervor was pinned instead to the dextrous digits of our national champions in the first-ever America v. Iran Thumb War.

As you can see, the conduct of our offensive
suffered from insufficient pre-war planning: specifically U.S. troop levels were limited to the size of one (1) waifish little stick of a girl lacking the proper thumb armor to combat the burly and great-thumbed Perisan enemy.

The mission was not, as they say, accomplished. But for what it's worth, our team was awfully cute. Go USA!